{"id":453,"date":"2025-02-28T23:55:55","date_gmt":"2025-02-28T21:55:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/?p=453"},"modified":"2025-02-28T23:55:55","modified_gmt":"2025-02-28T21:55:55","slug":"ultima-emisiune","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/ultima-emisiune.html","title":{"rendered":"Ultima emisiune"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>La o r\u0103sp\u00e2ntie de mahala str\u0103luce\u0219te de departe \u00een fel de fel de fe\u021be geaml\u00e2cul unei c\u00e2rciume, razele l\u0103mpii din tavan trec\u00e2nd afar\u0103 prin clondire pline cu deosebite vopseli str\u0103vezii. Afar\u0103 e o vreme c\u00e2ineasc\u0103: plou\u0103 ca prin sit\u0103 \u0219i bate v\u00e2nt rece. \u00cencepe iarna. A-nnoptat bine. Prin d\u00e2ra de lumin\u0103, se vede o umbr\u0103 \u00eenaint\u00e2nd cu pa\u0219i gr\u0103bi\u021bi. Umbra urmeaz\u0103 calea luminat\u0103, ferindu-se de b\u0103ltoace, se apropie \u0219i intr\u0103 \u00een c\u00e2rcium\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Bun\u0103 seara!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Bun\u0103 seara, d-le Iancule, r\u0103spunde negustorul de la tarab\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 E cineva d-ai no\u0219tri p-aci?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 \u00cenc\u0103 n-a venit nimeni.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Nici d. Tomi\u021ba?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Nu&#8230; Pesemne s-a mai ab\u0103tut pe undeva; dar trebuie s\u0103 pice acuma.<\/p>\n<p>Persoana care a intrat \u0219i \u00eentreab\u0103 de domnul Tomi\u021ba este domnul Iancu Buc\u0103tarul. E un om ca de \u0219aizeci de ani; dar cam prea trecut pentru v\u00e2rsta lui. A \u0219i p\u0103timit multe. De mic, fiind copilul unui rob, buc\u0103tar vestit pe vremea lui, a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat arta culinar\u0103 de la tat\u0103-s\u0103u, pe care l-a mo\u0219tenit \u00eentrec\u00e2ndu-l \u00een talente. De aceea, a fost un moment c\u00e2nd casele boiere\u0219ti se b\u0103teau care mai de care s\u0103-l aib\u0103 pe domnul Iancu. Dar arta culinar\u0103 uzeaz\u0103 grozav pe om; \u00eencet-\u00eencet, focul i-a stricat vederile acestui artist; apoi s-au \u00eent\u00e2mplat \u0219i ni\u0219te purdalnice de friguri; a trebuit s\u0103 fac\u0103 omul mult\u0103 vreme o cur\u0103 serioas\u0103 de rachiu de drojdii cu pic\u0103turi de pelin; azi a\u0219a, m\u00e2ine a\u0219a, purdalnicele de friguri nu-l l\u0103sau; a-ndoit, a-ntreit dozele&#8230; degeaba! \u00cen sf\u00e2r\u0219it, odat\u0103, ce s\u0103 te pomene\u0219ti, a-nceput s\u0103 aib\u0103 tremur\u0103turi la m\u00e2ini \u0219i a\u0219a, un fel de ame\u021beli, \u0219i noaptea s\u0103 viseze ur\u00e2t. Odat\u0103 a c\u0103zut pe ma\u0219ina de bucate \u0219i s-a ars la obraz. A trebuit \u00een cele din urm\u0103 s\u0103 renun\u021be la arta lui, c\u0103ci oriunde intra, i se \u00eent\u00e2mpla s\u0103-i vie ame\u021beal\u0103 pe ma\u0219in\u0103&#8230; Acuma, de vreo c\u00e2\u021biva ani, ce s\u0103 fac\u0103?&#8230; Cere&#8230; \u0218i nu-l sl\u0103besc purdalnicele de friguri!<\/p>\n<p>D. Iancu \u00ee\u0219i comand\u0103 doza de rachiu de drojdii cu pic\u0103turi de pelin, trece \u00een od\u0103i\u021ba din dos \u0219i se a\u0219az\u0103 la o mas\u0103 \u00een col\u021b. Aci e locul de \u00eent\u00e2lnire a trei buni camarazi \u0219i prieteni: domnul Iancu Buc\u0103tarul, coana Zamfira Muscalagioaica \u0219i domnul Tomi\u021ba Barabanciu. Pe c\u00e2nd d. Iancu gust\u0103 doftoria, s\u0103 vaz\u0103 dac\u0103 este potrivit\u0103 din am\u0103r\u0103ciune, iat\u0103 c\u0103 intr\u0103 \u0219i cocoana Zamfira, o persoan\u0103 de vreo cinzeci de ani trecu\u021bi.<\/p>\n<p>Aceast\u0103 persoan\u0103, care a pierdut de mult un ochi \u0219i uzul comod al m\u00e2inii drepte \u0219i al piciorului drept, are o istorie poate \u0219i mai interesant\u0103 dec\u00e2t amicii \u0219i camarazii ei. A iubit!&#8230; De la o fraged\u0103 v\u00e2rst\u0103 s-a furat din casa p\u0103rinteasc\u0103 \u2014 tat\u0103l ei era cel mai vestit ghitarist f\u0103r\u0103 perdea de pe vremuri. Complicele acestui furt era un t\u00e2n\u0103r viorist plin de talent. Peste un an, s-a furat de la primul ei complice; al doilea complice era un foarte distins cobzar; peste doi ani, alt complice \u0219i, \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it, a\u0219a din doi ani \u00een doi ani, uneori chiar mai des, din complice \u00een complice, a avut nenorocirea s\u0103 dea peste unul care a pretins cununie \u00een regul\u0103, \u0219i care, \u00eendat\u0103 ce s-a v\u0103zut furat, n-a \u00een\u021beles, ca to\u021bi ceilal\u021bi, c\u0103 regulele cele mai elementare ale galanteriei \u00eel obligau s\u0103 renun\u021be la orice scandal: acesta era celebrul Mitache Muscalagiul, un piept \u0219i o for\u021b\u0103 erculeane. A p\u00e2ndit-o, a prins-o la un chef cu ultimul ei complice, c\u00e2nt\u00e2nd buc\u0103\u021bi alese din repertoriul p\u0103rintelui ei, s-a n\u0103pustit asupra-i, a lovit-o, a sucit-o, a t\u0103v\u0103lit-o, a zdrobit-o&#8230; Cel\u0103lalt fugise ca un la\u0219&#8230; C\u00e2nd a l\u0103sat-o Muscalagiul din m\u00e2ini, juna Zamfira era o mas\u0103 inert\u0103. Iat\u0103 cauza \u00eentreitei ei betegeli. Cur\u00e2nd, dup\u0103 aceast\u0103 scen\u0103 at\u00e2t de dramatic\u0103, a murit \u0219i Muscalagiul de o violent\u0103 afec\u021biune de piept. Ce-i mai r\u0103m\u00e2nea de f\u0103cut unei nenorocite v\u0103duve, s\u0103rac\u0103, beteag\u0103 de un ochi, de m\u00e2na dreapt\u0103 \u0219i de piciorul drept?&#8230; Acuma, cere.<\/p>\n<p>Cocoana Zamfira salut\u0103 gra\u021bios pe camaradul ei, \u00eei \u00eentinde m\u00e2na st\u00e2ng\u0103 \u0219i se a\u0219az\u0103 al\u0103turi, pe c\u00e2nd b\u0103iatul din pr\u0103v\u0103lie i-aduce o \u021buiculi\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 D. Tomi\u021ba n-a venit? \u00eentreab\u0103 coana Zamfira.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Nu, r\u0103spunde d. Iancu.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Unde-o fi umbl\u00e2nd?&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Zic\u00e2nd astea, scoate din s\u00e2n o leg\u0103turic\u0103, o pune pe mas\u0103, o \u021bine cu m\u00e2na dreapt\u0103 \u0219i cu st\u00e2nga o dezleag\u0103. Din leg\u0103turic\u0103 scoate un pumn de m\u0103run\u021bi\u0219, dintre care alege cu b\u0103gare de seam\u0103 c\u00e2teva buc\u0103\u021bi, s\u0103 le arate camaradului.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Le-ai v\u0103zut s\u0103r\u0103ciile astea noile, domnule Iancule?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Le-am v\u0103zut&#8230; procopseal\u0103! semn de calicie, coan\u0103 Zamfiro!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 S-a stricat \u021bara asta, domnule Iancule! Care cum trece: \u00abCrede, babo, c\u0103 e criz\u0103!\u00bb&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Nu vezi dumneata, coan\u0103 Zamfiro, dac\u0103 a ajuns visteria s\u0103 fac\u0103 bani de tinichea!&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Pe c\u00e2nd vorbesc cei doi camarazi, iat\u0103 c\u0103 intr\u0103 \u0219i d. Tomi\u021ba Barabanciu. \u00cel cheam\u0103 astfel, fiindc\u0103, din tinere\u021be \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 acum c\u00e2\u021biva ani, a fost tobo\u0219ar municipal. Umbl\u00e2nd, cu toba lui, de colo p\u00e2n\u0103 colo, pe vreme bun\u0103 \u0219i pe zloat\u0103, vara pe ar\u0219i\u021b\u0103, iarna pe ger, a contractat un reumatism articular acut, pe care nu l-a putut combate dec\u00e2t cu rachiu de izm\u0103 fiert cu piper. Oric\u00e2nd \u00eel \u00eencearc\u0103 la \u00eencheieturi, cu nimic altceva nu i se poate alina. Obosit de at\u00e2ta carier\u0103, s-a retras cu o pensioar\u0103 de treizeci de lei, ca infirm din cauz\u0103 de serviciu, \u0219i ca s\u0103 nu stea degeaba toat\u0103 ziua, s\u0103-\u0219i mai fac\u0103 de lucru \u2014 acuma, cere. D. Tomi\u021ba intr\u0103 av\u00e2nd aerul foarte contrariat. Se vede c\u0103-l \u00eencearc\u0103 la \u00eencheieturi. B\u0103iatul din pr\u0103v\u0103lie a \u00een\u021beles aceasta si aduce numaidec\u00e2t, far\u0103 comand\u0103, rachiul de izm\u0103 cu piper. D. Tomi\u021ba salut\u0103 politicos pe camarazi, se a\u0219az\u0103 l\u00e2ng\u0103 ei t\u0103cut \u0219i d\u0103 repede pe g\u00e2t o doz\u0103; apoi se scutur\u0103 din umeri: parc\u0103 s-au mai alinat \u00een\u021bep\u0103turile reumatismului. De aceea, pacientul se mai \u00eensenineaz\u0103 la fa\u021b\u0103 \u0219i intr\u0103 \u00een conversa\u021bie:<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 A\u021bi v\u0103zut banii \u0103i noi?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 S\u0103r\u0103ciile de tinichea?&#8230; Uite-le, zice cucoana.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Coan\u0103 Zamfiro, s\u0103 nu zici vorba asta&#8230; Dumneata nu-n\u021belegi cum e chestia&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Cum e?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Peste c\u00e2teva zile scoate visteria tot d-\u0103\u0219tia de c\u00e2te dou\u0103zeci de parale. Care va s\u0103 zic\u0103&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Care va s\u0103 zic\u0103&#8230; zice d. Iancu.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Care va s\u0103 zic\u0103&#8230; zice coana Zamfira.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Care va s\u0103 zic\u0103 \u2014 zice d. Tomi\u021ba \u2014 din c\u00e2\u021bi ne d\u0103 c\u00e2te un ban pe zi, dac\u0103 doi-trei s-or \u00eent\u00e2mpla s\u0103 n-aib\u0103 alte m\u0103run\u021bele dec\u00e2t d-\u0103i de c\u00e2te dou\u0103zeci, atunci asta face un condei de c\u00e2\u021biva fr\u0103ncu\u021bi pe lun\u0103&#8230; A\u021bi \u00een\u021beles?&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>N-apuc\u0103 s\u0103 r\u0103spunz\u0103 camarazii dac\u0103 au \u00een\u021beles sau nu teoria financiar\u0103 a lui d. Tomi\u021ba, \u0219i s-aude dincolo \u00een c\u00e2rcium\u0103 \u00eenjur\u00e2nd cineva, foarte sup\u0103rat cine \u0219tie de ce; apoi, \u00eendat\u0103, u\u0219a od\u0103i\u021bii se deschide de perete, \u0219i intr\u0103 p\u0103rintele Matache, urmat de paracliserul lui, urmat de b\u0103iat, care aduce pe tav\u0103 o jum\u0103tate de pelin tulburel cu dou\u0103 pahare curate. Cei trei camarazi salut\u0103 pe p\u0103rintele, care-i blagoslove\u0219te, a\u0219ez\u00e2ndu-se cu paracliserul la masa dimpotriv\u0103. Coana Zamfira, care de vreo c\u00e2teva momente s-a \u00eenc\u0103lzit bine, zice:<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 P\u0103rinte Matache, s\u0103ru&#8217; m\u00e2na, sfin\u021bia-ta ai v\u0103zut pe \u0103\u0219tia noii?<\/p>\n<p>\u0218i merge \u0219ont\u00e2c-\u0219ont\u00e2c la masa p\u0103rintelui s\u0103-i arate b\u0103nu\u021bii de nichel.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 I-am v\u0103zut!&#8230; r\u0103spunde p\u0103rintele cu humor.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Da&#8230; p\u0103rinte Matache, s\u0103ru&#8217; m\u00e2na, o s\u0103 scoa\u021b\u0103 \u0219i de dou\u0103zeci de parale?&#8230; Dom&#8217; Tomi\u021ba zice&#8230; Barabanciu&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 O s\u0103 scoa\u021b\u0103!&#8230; O s\u0103 vede\u021bi voi ce-o s\u0103 scoa\u021b\u0103!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Ce!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Pe dracu o s\u0103-l scoa\u021b\u0103, vai de capul vostru!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Ce-o s\u0103 scoa\u021b\u0103, p\u0103rinte? \u00eentreab\u0103 d. Iancu.<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Ce?&#8230; las\u0103 c\u0103 o s\u0103 vede\u021bi voi, p\u00e2rli\u021bilor, ce!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Ce-o s\u0103 scoa\u021b\u0103, p\u0103rinte Matache, s\u0103ru&#8217; m\u00e2na?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 O s\u0103 scoa\u021b\u0103 de c\u00e2te dou\u0103 parale&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Ce?!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 \u0218i de c\u00e2te-o para!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 C\u00e2nd?!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Acu, zilele astea&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 De c\u00e2te dou\u0103 parale?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 \u0218i de c\u00e2te-o para!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 De c\u00e2te-o para!!<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Tr\u0103sni-i-ar Maica Domnului!!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>La o r\u0103sp\u00e2ntie de mahala str\u0103luce\u0219te de departe \u00een fel de fel de fe\u021be geaml\u00e2cul unei c\u00e2rciume, razele l\u0103mpii din tavan trec\u00e2nd afar\u0103 prin clondire pline cu deosebite vopseli str\u0103vezii. Afar\u0103 e o vreme c\u00e2ineasc\u0103: plou\u0103 ca prin sit\u0103 \u0219i bate v\u00e2nt rece. \u00cencepe iarna. A-nnoptat bine. Prin d\u00e2ra de lumin\u0103, se vede o umbr\u0103 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-453","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ion-luca-caragiale-nuvele","tag-ion-luca-caragiale"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/453","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=453"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/453\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":454,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/453\/revisions\/454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=453"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=453"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=453"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}