{"id":402,"date":"2020-03-03T11:35:51","date_gmt":"2020-03-03T09:35:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/?p=402"},"modified":"2023-10-24T14:31:01","modified_gmt":"2023-10-24T12:31:01","slug":"la-mosi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/la-mosi.html","title":{"rendered":"La Mo\u0219i"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Vagoane de tramvai galbene \u0219i albastre, tramcare, tr\u0103suri boiere\u0219ti, c\u0103ru\u021be mitoc\u0103ne\u0219ti \u0219i biciclete \u0219i lume mult\u0103 pe jos… De pe at\u00e2tea strade \u0219i c\u0103i, ca de pe at\u00e2tea bra\u021be ale unui fluviu uria\u0219, se vars\u0103 ca-ntr-o mare zgomotoas\u0103, pe bariera de la capul podului T\u00e2rgului de Afar\u0103, valuri peste valuri de omenire. Precum este greu s\u0103 se mai \u00eent\u00e2lneasc\u0103 dou\u0103 pic\u0103turi de ap\u0103 o dat\u0103 ce au apucat s\u0103 intre fiecare dup\u0103 soarta ei \u00een largul m\u0103rii, a\u0219a ar fi \u0219i pentru dou\u0103 persoane s\u0103 se mai g\u0103seasc\u0103, r\u0103t\u0103cite o dat\u0103 \u00een \u00eenv\u0103lm\u0103\u0219eala Mo\u0219ilor, dac\u0103 n-ar fi cumin\u021bi s\u0103-\u0219i hot\u0103rasc\u0103 mai dinainte locul \u0219i momentul de \u00eent\u00e2lnire. De aceea, foarte cuminte au f\u0103cut madam Georgescu a lui d. Mitic\u0103 ceaprazarul \u0219i madam Petrescu a lui d. Gu\u021b\u0103 de la minister \u0219i cu tanti Lucsi\u021ba, moa\u0219a diplomat\u0103, de \u0219i-au dat \u201erendez-vous:\u00a0la trei ceasuri fix \u00een pavilionul central la ber\u0103rie – cine vine \u00eent\u00e2i a\u0219teapt\u0103 pe ceilal\u021bi.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00cen interiorul unui vagon \u00eenchis al tramvaiului vechi, stau \u00eenghesuite, pe banchete \u0219i-n picioare, treizeci \u0219i patru de persoane suferind foarte tare. \u00centre toate acestea, una sufere mai grozav – e cucoana Lucsi\u021ba; fiindc\u0103 toate celelalte suf\u0103r numai de c\u0103ldur\u0103 \u0219i de sete, pe c\u00e2t\u0103 vreme dumneaei sufere pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 astea \u0219i de foame. C\u00e2nd se opre\u0219te vagonul la Sf. Gheorghe, se face ro\u0219ie, apoi galben\u0103 \u0219i pe urm\u0103 simte o sudoare rece, \u0219i iar fierbin\u021beal\u0103 \u0219i iar r\u0103ce\u0219te, \u0219i r\u0103sufl\u0103 greu, \u0219terg\u00e2ndu-se pe sub b\u0103rbia gras\u0103, \u0219i zice:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Uff\u00a0! dac\u0103 stiam, mai bine luam birze! (c\u0103 vorbe\u0219te cam peltic). Teribel\u0103 c\u0103ldur\u0103! mor!<\/p>\n

Vagonul porne\u0219te de la Sf. Gheorghe \u0219i intr\u0103 \u00een Calea Mo\u0219ilor… Parc\u0103 umbl\u00e2nd, tot e mai bine, tot se mai face ni\u021bel\u00a0<\/span>curent. Curentul ast\u00e2mp\u0103r\u0103 pu\u021bin c\u0103ldura; dar foamea nu se poate ast\u00e2mp\u0103ra cu o slab\u0103 suflare de v\u00e2nt. A fost desigur o mare impruden\u021b\u0103 din partea acestei dame s\u0103 plece de-acas\u0103 a\u0219a, trei ceasuri dup\u0103 dejun, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 guste ceva, mai cu seama c\u0103, din cauz\u0103 c\u0103 se gr\u0103bea s\u0103 nu scape ora de\u00a0rendez-vous<\/i>\u00a0la pavilionul central, a dejunat a\u0219a de u\u0219or: trei ou\u0103 r\u0103scoapte, o c\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2n\u0103 de miel cu bor\u0219, ni\u0219te stufat, prune cu carne, friptur\u0103 la tav\u0103 \u0219i salat\u0103 de castrave\u021bi, trei cinzecuri cu sifon \u0219i o cafelu\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

La Zece Mese, vagonul se opre\u0219te iar. Cocoana Lucsi\u021ba se simte foarte r\u0103u. Pe trotoar, l\u00e2ng\u0103 ferestrele vagonului, se aude, acoperind tot zgomotul stradei, glasul unui bragagiu. Moa\u0219a se scoal\u0103 cu o hot\u0103r\u00e2re suprem\u0103 \u0219i, pardon \u00een dreapta, pardon \u00een st\u00e2nga, \u00ee\u0219i face loc p\u00e2n\u0103 la u\u0219\u0103; \u00eempinge cu puterea desper\u0103rii pe to\u021bi de pe platform\u0103 \u0219i d\u0103 s\u0103 sar\u0103; vagonul se pune-n mi\u0219care; moa\u0219a se arunc\u0103 jos f\u0103c\u00e2nd un pas fals. Bragagiu, de dou\u0103 ori salvator! Dac\u0103 nu-l apuca \u00een bra\u021be, cine \u0219tie ce se-nt\u00e2mpla cu cocoana Lucsi\u021ba, cum e corpolent\u0103 \u0219i robust\u0103!<\/p>\n

\u00centr-un col\u021b, e pu\u021bintic\u0103 umbr\u0103. Acolo \u00eel atrage ea pe salvatorul ei \u0219i bea una dup\u0103 alta dou\u0103 litre de brag\u0103. Braga este, ca b\u0103utur\u0103, foarte r\u0103coritoare \u0219i igienic\u0103; iar ca m\u00e2ncare, cea mai u\u0219oar\u0103 \u0219i totdeodat\u0103 cea mai reconfortant\u0103. \u00cen c\u00e2teva clipe, moa\u0219a Lucsi\u021ba s-a sim\u021bit rentremat\u0103; sf\u00e2r\u0219eala \u0219i acel sentiment de pierzare, care-i vine omului c\u00e2nd simte un gol de chaos la lingurea, au disp\u0103rut cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u0219ire. Dar este t\u00e2rziu: dou\u0103 ceasuri \u0219i trei sferturi… Vagoane dup\u0103 vagoane trec toate pline cu v\u00e2rf: un loc\u0219or nu se mai g\u0103se\u0219te. La fiecare vagon, cocoana moa\u0219a face semne cu umbrelu\u021ba, cu batista, strig\u0103: “opre\u0219te!”<\/p>\n

\u2013 Nu mai e loc!<\/p>\n

\u0218i vagoanele \u00ee\u0219i urmeaz\u0103 drumul cu indiferen\u021b\u0103. Dar iat\u0103 c\u0103 se aude prin toat\u0103 uruiala un sunet de timbru: un vagon se opre\u0219te. Doi tineri elegan\u021bi de pe treapta platformei de dinainte se dau jos scutur\u00e2ndu-\u0219i pantalonii \u0219i pulpanele redingotelor de contactul cu mitocanii. Locuri goale! Cocoana moa\u0219a se arunc\u0103 cu toat\u0103 bravura, apuc\u0103 bara de fier, suie treapta, \u00eempinge, se v\u00e2r\u0103 \u0219i ajunge pe platform\u0103. Un t\u00e2n\u0103r, strivit sub presiunea cucoanei, zice:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Pardon,\u00a0<\/span>doamn\u0103! Nu vede\u021bi c\u0103 nu mai avem loc?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Eu v\u0103z c\u0103 este! r\u0103spunde cocoana Lucsi\u021ba.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Da; da’ dumneavoastr\u0103 sunte\u021bi corpolent\u0103!<\/p>\n

\u2013 Bine c\u0103 esti dumneata sub\u021birel!… Pe mine asa m-a f\u0103cut Dumnezeu, voluptoas\u0103!… Cui i pla\u021be!… cui nu…<\/p>\n

\u2013 Taxa, m\u0103 rog! strig\u0103 conductorul.<\/p>\n

Coana Lucsi\u021ba scoate din portofel biletul pe care-l avea din Pia\u021ba Teatrului. Conductorul observ\u0103 biletul.<\/p>\n

\u2013 \u0102sta nu-i de la mine.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Da’ de la \u021bine? \u00eentreab\u0103 cocoana.<\/p>\n

\u2013 De la alt vagon.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Da’ \u021be? nu e tot vagonul vostru? Am pl\u0103tit p\u00e2n\u0103 la barer\u0103… m-am dat zos…<\/p>\n

\u2013 Dac\u0103 v-a\u021bi dat o dat\u0103 jos – \u00eentrerupe conductorul – trebuie s\u0103 pl\u0103ti\u021bi a doua oar\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u2013 A doua oar\u0103? Bravos! frumoas\u0103 sarlatanie!<\/p>\n

Dar \u00een sf\u00e2r\u0219it pl\u0103te\u0219te \u0219i ia biletul nou. Vagonul sose\u0219te la barier\u0103. Cocoana Lucsi\u021ba coboar\u0103. Din am\u00e2ndou\u0103 col\u021burile vine profumul de mititei: e o senza\u021bie nepl\u0103cut\u0103 pentru cine e s\u0103tul; dar cui i-e foame, profumul acesta-i pare mai bun dec\u00e2t odagaciul. Cocoana Lucsi\u021ba se porne\u0219te cu n\u0103rile umflate spre unul dintre col\u021buri, ca o panter\u0103 atras\u0103 de mirosul \u021bapului s\u0103lbatic.<\/p>\n

\u2013 B\u0103iete! doi mititei!<\/p>\n

Reconfortat\u0103, o ia pe jos \u0219i intr\u0103 \u00een pavilionul central, unde o a\u0219teapt\u0103 cu ner\u0103bdare compania.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Mitic\u0103! zice cocoana moa\u0219a, dup\u0103 ce rupe o bucat\u0103 de turt\u0103 dulce de la madam Georgescu; fa\u021bi \u021binste?… M\u0103! b\u0103iete, o halb\u0103!… da s\u0103 nu-mi pui guler de gheneral!<\/p>\n

T\u00e2rgul e \u00een toiul lui… Lume, lume, e ceva de speriat, pe onoarea mea!<\/p>\n

Dup\u0103 ce pl\u0103te\u0219te d. Mitic\u0103, zice madam Petrescu:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Haide\u021bi \u00eent\u00e2i pe la oale, c\u0103 am promis s\u0103 cump\u0103r un fluiera\u0219, pentru b\u0103ie\u021belul lu’ madam Ionescu, st\u0103p\u00e2na casei.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Haide.<\/p>\n

\u0218i au plecat spre oale.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd s\u0103 treac\u0103 drumul, coana moa\u0219a zice:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Sta\u021bi!<\/span><\/p>\n

Gogo\u0219i pr\u0103jite \u00een ulei! Sahanul clocote\u0219te… Una… dou\u0103… trei…<\/p>\n

\u2013 Aide, \u021ba\u021bo! las\u0103-le focului de gogo\u0219i! nu sim\u021bi c\u0103 miroase a r\u00e2nced? Iar o s\u0103-\u021bi strici stomacul.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Ba, s\u0103 m\u0103 ier\u021bi! nu miroase de loc a r\u00e2n\u021bed.<\/p>\n

La oale… A cump\u0103rat madam Petrescu fluiera\u0219ul \u0219i au pornit to\u021bi la gr\u0103din\u0103 la Iliad. C\u00e2nd s\u0103 intre, strig\u0103 cocoana moa\u0219a la unul cu fes:<\/p>\n

\u2013 M\u0103! dzeanabet, \u0103la cu sampanica! ad-o limonad\u0103!…<\/p>\n

\u0218i dup\u0103 ce bea:<\/p>\n

\u2013 E re\u021be, bravos! mai ado una.<\/p>\n

Pe urm\u0103 trag to\u021bi planeta de la o italianc\u0103 cu papagalul. D. Mitic\u0103 a citit planeta cocoanii Lucsi\u021bii:<\/p>\n

“Ai s\u0103 pa\u021bi multe dup\u0103 inima ta cea larg\u0103; dar s\u0103 ai coraj, c\u0103ci vei tr\u0103i p\u00e2n\u0103 la ad\u00e2nci b\u0103tr\u00e2ne\u021be \u00een mare fericire.”<\/p>\n

\u2013 Ei, ass! \u021be s\u0103 mai pa\u021b; dac\u0103 n-am pa\u021bit eu c\u00e2t am fost zun\u0103! acuma, haber n-am!<\/p>\n

Pe urm\u0103 d. Mitic\u0103 a tratat-o pe tanti cu dou\u0103 b\u0103rdace de floricele calde…<\/p>\n

L\u0103utari cu \u021bambalul, \u0219i fla\u0219nete, \u0219i claranete cu toba mare, \u0219i tr\u00e2mbicioare, \u0219i fluiera\u0219e, \u0219i h\u00e2r\u00e2itori, \u0219i cle\u0219te cl\u0103n\u021banind pe gr\u0103tare, \u0219i strig\u0103te, \u0219i zbierete, \u0219i chiote! – e o pl\u0103cere!… \u0219i un miros de gr\u0103tar \u00eencins! – e o bun\u0103tate!… S-a a\u0219ezat prin urmare compania noastr\u0103 la o mas\u0103, \u0219i a comandat c\u00e2rna\u021bi \u0219i fleici \u0219i dou\u0103 baterii cu sifon mare.<\/p>\n

\u2013 M\u0103 b\u0103iete! a strigat coana moa\u0219a… la flei\u021bi s\u0103 le pui \u021bimbru, m-ai \u00een\u021beles? \u0219i s\u0103 le fre\u021be bine cu \u021beap\u0103, m-ai pri\u021beput?<\/p>\n

\u0218i trage-i pe urm\u0103 f\u0103lci!<\/p>\n

\u2013 Ce cioar’le, \u021ba\u021bo! zice madam Georgescu; iar man\u00e2nci?<\/p>\n

\u2013 \u021ae m\u0103n\u00e2nc? \u021be-am mai m\u00e2ncat?<\/p>\n

\u0218i s-a f\u0103cut ro\u0219ie ca sfecla \u0219i a b\u0103ut un macmahon pe ner\u0103suflate. Dar deodat\u0103, ca printr-un farmec, se opresc \u00eentr-o clip\u0103 \u0219i l\u0103utarii, \u0219i cimpoierii, \u0219i claranetele \u0219i toate glasurile, \u0219i \u00een acea clip\u0103 se aude banca pe care st\u0103 coana Lucsi\u021ba f\u0103c\u00e2nd ca o caden\u021b\u0103 de fagot; apoi, iar porne\u0219te cu\u00a0<\/span>mult brio grandioasa simfonie: muzici, juc\u0103rii, cle\u0219te, glasuri…<\/p>\n

\u2013 \u021ae? \u021be r\u00e2de\u021bi? zice coana moa\u0219a ro\u0219ie ca focul.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Nu-i nimica! strig\u0103 d. Mitic\u0103. Sifonul meu a f\u0103cut a\u0219a.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Ce sifon? zice madam Petrescu. Nici n-ai pus m\u00e2na pe el!<\/p>\n

\u2013 Parc\u0103 dumneata n-ai v\u0103zut sifoane s\u0103 sc\u00e2r\u021bie f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 le atingi! dac\u0103 r\u0103sufl\u0103 la ma\u0219in\u0103…<\/p>\n

Dar p\u00e2n\u0103 s\u0103 explice d. Mitic\u0103, moa\u0219a s-a sculat repede \u0219i s-a pierdut \u00een \u00eenv\u0103lm\u0103\u0219eal\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Unde-i \u021ba\u021ba? unde-i coana moa\u0219a?<\/p>\n

\u2013 S-a dus \u00een gr\u0103din\u0103 – zice d. Mitic\u0103 – s\u0103 mai trag\u0103 o planet\u0103!…<\/p>\n

Al dracului d. Mitic\u0103!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Vagoane de tramvai galbene \u0219i albastre, tramcare, tr\u0103suri boiere\u0219ti, c\u0103ru\u021be mitoc\u0103ne\u0219ti \u0219i biciclete \u0219i lume mult\u0103 pe jos… De pe at\u00e2tea strade \u0219i c\u0103i, ca de pe at\u00e2tea bra\u021be ale unui fluviu uria\u0219, se vars\u0103 ca-ntr-o mare zgomotoas\u0103, pe bariera de la capul podului T\u00e2rgului de Afar\u0103, valuri peste valuri de omenire. Precum este greu […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[15],"class_list":["post-402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ion-luca-caragiale-nuvele","tag-ion-luca-caragiale"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=402"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":403,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/402\/revisions\/403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dragos-serban.ro\/carti\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}